An intimate conversation with the husband of our founder, and his view on marriage and its evolution.
Growing up, I pictured myself having a family, I pictured myself finding a person that was right for me. But what I thought ‘right’ was, was very different, and that’s the beauty of it. Then it meant, just beautiful, I think that was it, I was a kid or teenager, you don’t know what you really think. And now I think I had no idea what I was talking about. I think it’s not about finding the right person for me but finding the right person for me while hopefully being the right person for them. And then I think there are various definitions of beauty, it can take many forms and that’s something you don’t know when you’re a kid, you just think about the physical, but there’s beauty on the inside, there’s beauty in relation to who you are, it’s beauty within a context.
I don’t believe that there is just one person, in my opinion that’s too idealistic and just in movies and fairy tales, that there is just one person that you could be happy with, I don’t think that’s true. I think it’s a mix of timing, situation, a lot of different things that make a person right. And I think that the person that’s right is not necessarily the person that matches with you on every single thing, that is what I’ve realized.
I think the more we grow we [you and I] are opposites attract, we have different personalities. We’re different and we like different things, but we have the same values and those values are what make us gravitate towards each other. And for me that opposite side completes me, it’s not like a rejection it is actually something I am lacking, I need that opposition and it’s that opposition that creates the love at an intimate, deeper level.
Marriage doesn’t scare me. It’s a life decision. I made it, in full control with no outside influence. That’s the only decision in my life that I have had no doubt on. And when I made that decision I had no idea who I would be 5 years later, where we are now. I think that our personalities evolve and having someone who is able to cope with that unfolding aspect of your personality and not running away all of the sudden because you’re not ideal is really something that makes you want to stay with a person forever. With that you have to make an effort to evolve together, you have to sacrifice but not in a negative way. You are not alone, so you have to work on your flaws that you might not have had to before, and maybe that has nothing to do with marriage, maybe that is just being in a relationship long term. If that’s what you want, you have to do the work, and the other person does too. I think I’m lucky to be with someone who cares about and makes an effort to find out who I am.
As told by Jesse in Paris, France (interview has been condensed)